Prevent Domestic Violence- 6 Ways you can help a Victim Today

It can be very unsettling if someone you care about is being abused by their partner.  Domestic violence is quite common and is usually committed by men against women.  This behavior can be life-threatening, frightening and confusing.  It is a crime and is therefore never acceptable.  Your support can make a difference.  You may even help to save a life.  The question that you may ask now is:"What can I do to help?" Here are some actions that you can take if you believe that your friend or family member is being abused.

 

Six steps to take in helping a friend or family member who is a victim of domestic violence:

 

1. Become well informed about options

Before approaching the victim, find out all of the options that are available for help.  Make a list with addresses, phone numbers and contact names.  Call the numbers and ask questions about what help they can give to abuse victims.

 

2.  Question the victim about the situation-in a gentle manner.

Since the victim may not feel comfortable about revealing her situation because of fear of her partner, or embarrassment and humiliation, approach her in a gentle and sensitive manner.  Tell her of your concern and that you've noticed certain things and are worried about her.  Her fear, embarrassment or humiliation may be such that she is unwilling to talk.  Don't give up.  Wait for her signal that she is ready; however keep an eye on her for any signs of escalation of the violence.

 

3.  Listen, don't judge and give moral support

If the victim is willing to talk, the most important thing that you can do is to listen.  Listen and don't judge.  Don't blame her for the abuse.  It is never the victim's fault.  Don't pressure her to leave and don't make that decision for her.  At this time, focus only on supporting her and building her confidence.  Let her know that you will be there for whatever she needs.

 

4.  Give her facts about domestic violence

Give her facts and statistics that have been published by professionals in the area of domestic violence so that she can make an informed decision as to what her next step should be.  The most important facts include:

• The fact that she is a victim of abuse and that the abuse not only affects her, but also affects the children.
• Help her to understand that domestic violence is never acceptable.

 

5.  Help her develop a safety plan (a plan of escape)

Help her to develop a plan to use for her and her children if an emergency situation arises, include:

• A plan for how to get her and the children out of the house
• A place to go that is safe and that her partner is not aware of
• A packed bag with articles of clothing and identification, important phone numbers, credit cards and extra money
• Transportation ready- gas in the car, spare car keys easily found, door unlocked, and bag in the car
• A code word that will let you know of the emergency
• Get names and phones of her closest relatives to alert them of the situation so thatthey will not worry.

 

6.  Help her seek professional help and guidance

Tell her about your research into agencies that give help to abuse victims.  Give her names, addresses and phone number of places that can help her.  These places should include guidance counselors, police protection (for restraining orders) and others: such as:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• The number for child protective services (ask the operator for your local ChildAbuse Hotline, or call 1-800- 4 A Child
• Name, address and phone number of an abuse counselor

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